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I was talking about this with my mom the other day-- have people decided that common courtesy, saying please and thank you is unnecessary? Is doing for others something that is merely taken for granted anymore? Are some friends worthy and others not?

God, I hope not.

This holiday season, I"ve come to a reasonable conclusion: there are those that you have to deal with in life. And then there are those that you choose to deal with openly and voluntarily. I want to broaden, and in some cases redefine, who I put in the open and voluntary category.

First is family. Family is so important to me, those that have been with me from the beginning and held steadfastedly to me through many, many changes-- whether good or bad. The new family and the old ones are the ones I mean to honor. When I say that though, I mean those in my family that have stayed loyal and not been fairweather. I have a big enough extended family that I can say this is true and be picky.

It is hard when you don't have a lot to spend to think of something for Christmas friends or family would like. I try to give people something I think they might enjoy, even though it may not be particularly extravagant. I don't always expect anything in return, but I do expect a thank you. I feel like a birthday card isn't unreasonable, or even a birthday beer. I consider myself a very low maintainence person and do not list unreasonable expectations from others. Of course, everyone forgets some things, but consistently forgeting means something a little more. It means you have other priorities. *shrug* That's fine-- it lets me know where I stand next time.

Here's an example: Mr X and I have been friends for awhile. I gave him a present while we were hanging out in a bar after christmas. I could care less that he didn't get me anything this year-- but he said thank you and smiled and seemed too enjoy his presents. That was enough. He bought me a beer for my b/day, or maybe that was several?, and that was totally cool. I'm not that materialistic, I just don't like being disregarded.

There are some pretty selfish people in this world and also some people that really like to be unhappy. Fortunately, I've found I am neither.

I've seen it time and time again--the discourtesy. I saw it this summer: my uncle, who didn't know whether or not his 18 year old son would live out the day, turned to a lady in the cafeteria and said "Oh, I'm sorry I stepped in front of you--I just don't know where my head is today!" She hoisted her head in the air, not even giving a nod of acknowledgement and stalked off. He was so out of it, he didn't even notice it, but I bet she was not going through anything as critical as losing an eighteen year old son.

I saw it last month, when this teenage girl hit my new car, and I didn't call the police, but got her insurance info. I gave her my phone number, which was a big mistake because her mother called me to scream at me that I "couldn't do this to her daughter" by filing an insurance claim and how "god was going to punish me".

It amazes me what people are capable of -- it strengthens my belief that I will not let that happen to myself or my kin. Sometimes I can't think about it too much or I really start to despair.

There have been some truly awful things happening-- friends dying in automobile accidents eerily similar to one that I was in. Also some truly wonderful things too, such as marriage planning and finally getting into school.

Life is just like that, you have to constantly balance the bad with the good. But what is most important are those you choose to have in your life and reciprocate with all their hearts back to you.

(I am posting this mainly for people in the midwest who know Dave and Steph)

I didn't know John Rambo very well. I only hung out with him once, and Dave told me afterwards he was exhausted. He was still, however, a very fun individual to hang out with and talk to. Dave told me so many stories about him those 2 weeks he was snowed in at our house, I feel like I know the guy.

The entire situation sounds awful. I've been there and my heart goes out to Evie. I know something of what she's feeling.

As I said before, people were asking me what had happened, so I decided to post it here.

Dave and Steph, please let us know if we can do anything long distance.